Romancing Your Spouse
How to Romance Your Spouse
Do you still try to romance your spouse? If not, you should! Do you remember when you first met your future wife or husband or the first time you held hands and how that made you feel? If you’re like me, the heart rate went up a notch and had some of those “butterflies”!
There are many great times in the development of a relationship! It’s always fun to remember those special moments. Take a minute and think about all the ways you tried to impress him or her, those funny or special ways you tried to charm them and let them know how special they were. Like most couples, you probably spent a lot of time together and would do things like passing cute little notes or sending special messages or other unique ways to let him or her know how much you cared. In other words, you did your best to romance your future spouse.
Now, here’s the million dollar question: do you still do those things? When you were dating you worked hard to impress and did your best to express your love. Do you still try as hard now that you’re married? Marriages need to be nurished with love and romance. If we neglect to feed our marriage with romance it will wane. Here’s the deal, as a partner in your covenant relationship of marriage, it’s your duty to keep the romance alive and active. If you’re doing that – great, if not, here are some ideas to fuel those embers of romance:
Date Night – Certainly not a very original idea, but it’s an effective one! Going on regular dates means time together. Time together means more romance. It could be something as simple as a walk in the park or a picnic lunch or taking a drive to a special spot or meeting for lunch.
Write a love letter – No matter how long you’ve been married taking a moment to write a couple of paragraphs telling how much you appreciate your spouse or making a list of all the things you like about them will definetly turn up the heat.
Say “I Love You” – Another obvious one! Expressing your love is vital to making it grow. As men we think because we said “I love you” three years ago everything is cool. Just say it, and say it frequently. Also, when you say it, really mean it! You didn’t take it for granted when you were dating. It’s even more important to say it now in your marriage. (See article on “Love Lanquages”)
Speak Words of Affirmation and Encouragement – What we “appreciate” goes up in value. Often we spend more time criticizing and complaining about each other than complimenting. A genuine, well timed compliment from the most important person in your life is huge. Work at making most of your words positive, encouraging, helpful, uplifting, and loving.
Buy a Gift for No Reason – Cards and gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas are great, but guys if you show up at home with some flowers or small gift for no reason you will touch her heart.
Stay in Shape – When you were dating you probably always made sure you looked your best. Now that you’re married do you still try to look good for your spouse? You don’t have to look like you did 10 – 20 – 30 years ago, but we should do our best to look our best. The physical side of marriage plays an important role. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you get to let it all hang out. Maintaining yourself physically is one of the most outward and obvious forms of fostering romance.
Pray Together – Some of you may be thinking how can praying stir up romance. True romance in a marriage is not just physical, it is emotional and spiritual. Couples who pray together regularly have a much better relationship in the area of romance. Try it! Set a time each day that works for you and pray together for just a minute or two.
Be Creative – A little bit of spontaneity can add some zest to what can easily become a routine marriage. Do something different – Breakfast in bed, suprise them at work, go out to eat someplace new, change up the daily routine, etc. Be creative – you think of something. The main point is to do something out of the ordinary. Get free of normal. Adventure breeds romance.
The bottom line is you need to invest in your relationship regularly. Your marriage is a gift from God. Romancing your spouse is one of the investments you can make that will bring great returns.
Romance your spouse – you’ll be glad you did!
